The Column

The Obamalution

Now for the hard part

Congratulations, Barack Obama and Democrats! You are now the proud owners of two quagmiric wars, an economic meltdown, the worst health care system in the industrialized world, an energy and transportation system built on an unpredictably volatile fossil fuel, and a climate crisis that could dwarf all of these problems combined!

Whoooooo! Break out the champagne! Shout from the rooftops! Orgies in the barnyard! We won! We Won!

Yes, we all had exactly one—count it—one night to celebrate what should have been an epic and transformative event: The election of the first black president (not to mention the temporary vanquishing of Republicanism). Now, however, the problems that face President-elect Obama allow him absolutely no time to pat himself on the back.

(I had my moment of joy in Grant Park on Election night, alongside a quarter of a million people. We stood for hours on a warm fall night and watched the returns on a massive Jumbo-Tron that made Wolf Blitzer's head look like a bearded yacht. Cigar smoke drifting past my nostrils and the crowd shifted so that I kept moving to stand beside different strangers—a black couple, two Latina women with big hoop earrings, a short Asian girl, and my dumb white roommates. The crowd roared when CNN called New Hampshire. We screamed when Pennsylvania fell. We fellow Buckeyes exchanged a glorious round of high fives when Ohio switched over. Then when the polls closed, and they projected the election for Barack, the cheer that went up must have echoed all the way to Milwaukee.)

It's instructive to understand why Obama won. First of all, he has demographics on his side. White men—by far the dumbest, most selfish portion of the electorate—are a shrinking segment. Unfortunately, this is the Republican base, and conservatism faces the prospect of either adapting (which it looks buffoonishly slow to do at the moment) or becoming the ideology (and thus the Republicans, the party) of rural white men. Good luck with that.

Secondly, Obama crushed McCain in voters under 30 (by upwards of 30 points). Turns out we can do more than play video games and masturbate. Again, Republicans, have fun trying to win with an entire generation voting against you by 30 points.

Finally, there was TOB. Technology. Organization. And Bush. I'll consider those elements self-explanatory.

Basically, at this point Obama has built a bigger political party than the Democrats or Republicans. Call them Obamacrats, and it likely includes you and I. Here following, is what we owe Obama, whom we did so much to help elect, and in turn, what he owes us.

The Expectations Game
Above, I listed a bunch of problems Obama will face the moment he steps into the White House, but there are more out there waiting than I can fit in this column. For instance, the American auto industry stands on the brink of bankruptcy and complete implosion. This could mean a loss of 3 million jobs, nearly $400 billion in U.S. personal income over three years, and a loss of tax revenue over $150 billion.

What I'm saying is that the time for hard choices has come, and if the entire health care system isn't solved in one term, don't blame the guy. If the education system isn't fixed in two years, take it easy. What Obama has on his plate boggles the reasonable mind, and we as a country are going to have to eat this elephant-sized shit sandwich one bite at a time, so for everyone who thinks the worlds all rainbows and ponies now, it will likely be the president after Obama (assuming he serves the full eight years) who will finally have the chance to reap the rewards of this victory.

This goes double for liberal ideologues who want every part of their wish list enacted in the next four years. Sorry to say, but most of it ain't happening. Forget about civil unions or gun control or any of that other stuff we're always whining about. It's not even on the backburner anymore but has fallen behind the whole goddamn oven.

Stay Engaged
One of Obama's greatest proven abilities has been to draw people into the political process. The United States remains an embarrassment when it comes to civic participation. People can summon the indignation to protest the word "retarded" in movies, but could happily care less about our decaying infrastructure, blighted urban centers, and environmental degradation.

Obama has started a remarkable thing: He has invested in the American public's ability to grapple with issues. Admittedly, this strategy seems to have all the business sense of investing in a toy company that produces Bucket-O'-Syphilitic-Glass (ages 4 and up), but maybe he's on to something. That's why I implore you to stay engaged, not just in politics, but in the policy decisions that will affect our day-to-day lives.

No, it can no longer be impolite to talk politics around the dinner table. You must continue to argue with your conservative uncle and maybe tell your Republican friend that he can eat shit (every once in a while; try to be nice). It means persuading wherever you can and getting in people's faces when you have to. The time to sit back and let people wallow in their prejudices and predispositions is over. Sure, let's build those bridges Barack wants and meet in the middle when we can, but what we all have to do is remain engaged and aware of what lies ahead.

Question Authority; Especially the Authority You Like
Republicans now want to run around talking about "what went wrong" and how Bush "wasn't a real conservative," but do they think we're stupid? Do they think that we don't remember the years 2001 to 2006? I remember them quite well, and I can count on one hand the number of conservatives who actually challenged any of the assumptions or dogma coming out of the White House (Pat Buchanan, you've earned my respect).

I remember having so many fights with those Bush foot soldiers in college. I remember thinking, "You've got to be fucking kidding me," so many times, because these people had no core principles or over-arching belief structure. They thought they did, but really they were just parroting every word that left the lips of the administration.

Under Obama, we cannot afford this.

Nothing gave me greater pride in Obama's movement than when his supporters blasted him for supporting the FISA bill and immunity for the telecoms. Good. He needed blasted.

I do think this man has it in him to be a great president, and more importantly, a great leader. Everything he has demonstrated about his character and temperament point me to that conclusion. However, if he's not—if he turns out to be a cynical Chicago pol, if he continues the secret machinations of the current executive branch, if he delays hard decisions in favor of political expediency, then fuck him. He campaigned on the promise of giving the government back to us, and I believe his sincerity, but that doesn't mean I've abandoned my natural skepticism, and neither should you.

One of the scariest elements of the Bush administration was the way it garnered the unquestioning support of a large swath of the American people. Obama supporters cannot afford to repeat this mistake.

Having said all of that, I remain optimistic. For the first time in my adult life, I have a reconstituted belief in the American mythology. Obama has given me a reason to believe, and judging from the reactions to his victory here and around the world, I gather I'm not alone.

Good luck Mr. President-elect.

You're sure as shit going to need it.